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Memories From a fading Room

It’s been a great month for both myself and Tania. We finally tied the knot and are now Mr and Mrs Lock. We decided to pop down to Great Yarmouth as we had not been this season for a day out. Jenson got to see daddy fly a kite (badly) and it was nice for myself and Tania to spend some time together.

I have always found myself attached to the middle Jetty on the pleasure beach. When I was younger we spent two years in a row on holiday at Great Yarmouth and I spent most of my time fishing from the Jetty. Even back then my head was full of unanswered questions and I knew that I was living my life with a great big hole running through the middle.

Memories from a fading room

As time progressed my memories of the fun that I had in those years, alone on the middle jetty at Great Yarmouth faded. I discovered Drugs and Alcohol and along with this new-found friendship I discovered that they helped fill the gaping hole in my life.

It was only after many years of suffering from and at the hands of addiction that I would find myself back at the middle Jetty at Great Yarmouth. The Jetty itself could quite easily represent my earlier life. It has been closed of and is gradually collapsing from years of neglect.

This time it feels different though, the gaping hole in my life has been healed. This time I have my Wife and one of my sons beside me. Who would have thought all those years ago while staring out at the North Sea worrying about what I would become….the answer was right behind me……just 23 years in the future.

To my family, I love you.

To the middle Jetty at Great Yarmouth, Hello again old friend.

And to the homeless guy from Liverpool that I met all those years ago while I was fishing, I hope you are safe; and I hope you managed to plug the hole in your life…..like we talked about.



add-apt-repository: command not found

To start installing and using software from a Personal Package Archive (PPA) the easy way….. you will need to get add-apt-repository first

#sudo apt-get install python-software-properties

once installed we can add a ppa with, for example:

#sudo apt-add-repository ppa:ubuntu-clamav/ppa
#sudo apt-get update
Neat 🙂

Tech Notes: Ubuntu Server 10.04 LTS – Squid + Dansguardian + Webmin + ClamAV

PLEASE NOTE: The information listed here is purely for my convenience. Please feel free to use it any way that you like, but I will not take any responsibility for inaccuracies or damage resulting in the use of this information.

DansGuardian logo

Image via Wikipedia

Ubuntu Server 10.04.2 LTS + Squid + Dans Guardian + Webmin = Webfiltering Proxy with idiot proof perl frontend 🙂

1. Install Ubuntu Server 10.04.2 LTS in the usual manner. Slice disks up how you like! follow the install and select none of the options when you get to “tasksel”

2.(OPTIONAL) Install Apache with…Might need Apache later for zero config proxy.. client side

# sudo apt-get install apache2
3. If you don’t have a static IP then edit interfaces…
# sudo nano /etc/network/interfaces

# This file describes the network interfaces available on your system
# and how to activate them. For more information, see interfaces(5).

# The loopback network interface
auto lo
iface lo inet loopback

# The primary network interface
auto eth0
iface eth0 inet static
address     #Your IP
netmask     #Your Netmask
gateway    #Your Gateway

4. Save and Exit…duh 🙂

5. Restart Networking to bring the new config into play…

# sudo /etc/init.d/networking restart

6. Install and Config Squid….first up…

# sudo apt-get install squid
7. Backup our clean squid.conf file with…

# sudo cp /etc/squid/squid.conf /etc/squid/squid.conf.backup

8. Edit squid.conf with…

# sudo nano /etc/squid/squid.conf

NOTE: If you want to change the default port that squid listens on [3128], change the http_port tag
Ctrl+W is your friend here…look for the “http_access” (No quotes) section on or around line 1860.

#Create an acl (Access Control List) with...
acl our_networks src # Replace with your subnet!
#Then Create http access rule with....
http_access allow our_networks

OPTIONAL = if you get a startup error ‘FATAL: Could not determine fully qualified hostname.
Please set visible_hostname’ you will also need to modify the visible_hostname tag (Ctrl+W is your friend to find the bugger!!)

visible_hostname localhost

9. Save and Exit…really!! 🙂

10.Install Dansguardian with…

# sudo aptitude install dansguardian

11. We need to check /etc/dansguardian/dansguardian.conf for the following:
filterip =
filterport = 8080
proxyip =
proxyport = 3128

All of the above was present and correct in my dansguardian.conf…..but I still needed to Comment UNCONFIGURED

Also set reportinglevel=-1 as I wanted to log traffic at first rather than block it.

To configure banned/exception sites based on either phrases, ip addresses, urls, mime type,
etc… you would need to edit one of the following files using nano. All files are located in /etc/dansguardian/



REMEMBER: Whenever you edit these files it is good practice to restart both Squid and Dansguardian
# sudo /etc/init.d/dansguardian stop
# sudo /etc/init.d/squid stop
# sudo /etc/init.d/squid start
# sudo /etc/init.d/dansguardian start
# ps –e | grep dansguardian ## to see if the service is running

Now that Squid and DansGuardian are configured, test it by setting up your browser to use the proxy server
with port 8080. A site that is blocked by default in DansGuardian is http://tits.com if you get a page redirect then you’re good to go (See Image below) Note: you will not get a page redirect if you have set reporting level to -1 in dansguardian.conf like I did.

whitehouse.com in Firefox through Dan's Guardian

Image via Wikipedia


Webmin is a web-based interface for system administration for Unix.
Using any browser that supports tables and forms (and Java for the File Manager module)

1. Install dependencies: Perl 5 interpreter and libnet-ssleay-perl

# sudo aptitude install perl5 libnet-ssleay-perl
2. Install Webmin
# cd /usr/local/src
# wget http://prdownloads.sourceforge.net/webadmin/webmin-1.550.tar.gz

NOTE: Check the URL to make sure you are getting the latest!!
…This is the big daddy of Webmin Packages….low fat it ain’t everything is included
….except DansGuardian 😦

# sudo tar -xvzf webmin-1.550.tar.gz
# cd /webmin-1.550
# sudo sh setup.sh

Setup script will run…Answer all questions correctly, I personally set up SSL but it’s up to you

3.Navigate to https://server-name:10000 and log in with the username and pass that you provided to

4. NO DANSGUARDIAN!! WE HAVE BEEN ROBBED….not so…we need to install it!!
5. Navigate to Webmin | Webmin Configuration | Webmin Modules
6. Make sure the Install Tab is selected and then enter the following URL into the field marked “From ftp or http URL”
# http://sourceforge.net/projects/dgwebminmodule/files/dgwebmin-stable/0.7/dgwebmin-0.7.1.wbm/download
7. Click the “Install Module” cmd button
8. Almost done we now need to select our newly installed module
9. CRISIS there are errors!! never fear we just need to configure the module for the Ubuntu environment.

"Warning - DansGuardian binary file not found, maybe you need to update your module config (especially the directory paths).
(Expected location: /sbin/dansguardian)

Warning - the version of DansGuardian you have is not supported by this Webmin module version
Webmin Module Version 0.7.1 supports DG version 2.10 (& 2.9)
Currently installed DG version ?

Warning - running as root(superuser) may cause new files to be innaccessible by production DansGuardian"

10. Select the “module config” hyperlink and update the Configurable Options as follows:

Leave everything as it is except:

Full path to DG binary = /usr/sbin/dansguardian

Command to restart DG (if allowed) = /etc/init.d/dansguardian restart
Command to start DG (if allowed) = /etc/init.d/dansguardian start
Command to stop DG (if allowed) = /etc/init.d/dansguardian stop

Basically lose the rc.d directory listing in the three lines above!!

11. Add webmin startup file to /etc/init.d

If you installed webmin in the default folder
(/etc/webmin/) you follow these steps:

# cd /etc/init.d

# sudo nano webmin

#! /bin/sh
test -x $DEAMON || exit 0

Save the file and make it executable:
# chmod 755 /etc/init.d/webmin

It must be started on boot, we want to start it as root:

# sudo update-rc.d webmin defaults
Note: If something goes wrong and you want to
remove this addition in starting up, you

# update-rc.d -f webmin remove


1. Execute the following from a shell to install ClamAV:

sudo apt-get install clamav-daemon clamav-freshclam

2. We will get a warning!!

LibClamAV Warning:***********************************************************
LibClamAV Warning: *** This version of the ClamAV engine is outdated.***
LibClamAV Warning: *** DON'T PANIC! Read http://www.clamav.net/support/faq ***
LibClamAV Warning: ***********************************************************


NOTE: To keep Clam up to date I decided to add the ubuntu-clamav/ppa PPA

First up we need add-apt-repository


#sudo apt-get install python-software-properties

once installed we can add a ppa with, for example:

#sudo add-apt-repository ppa:ubuntu-clamav/ppa
#sudo apt-get update/upgrade

If you prefer to roll your own take a look at this excellent post


3. Fresh-Clam will look for def updates every hour….if you need to change this behaviour then edit:

sudo /etc/init.d/clamav-freshclam restart

4. Open dansguardian.conf and un-comment this line:

contentscanner = '/etc/dansguardian/contentscanners/clamav.conf'

NOTE: I have not been able to get Dansguardian and Clam Daemon to work together yet. I have listed some info below to remind me of a couple of key bits of info when I get time to look into this.

All looks ok so we can test the configuration with page: http://www.eicar.org/download/eicar.com.txt

You should see: Virus or bad content detected. Eicar-Test-Signature on page.

NOTE: Good Site for Blacklists and auto update scripts http://www.shallalist.de/ also http://contentfilter.futuragts.com/wiki/doku.php?id=downloadable_blacklists for general info and links to more blacklists.


When building DansGuardian, use the –enable-clamd ./configure option, but not the –enable-clamav option too. In an ideal world, all DansGuardian packages obtained from distribution repositories should already be built this way. However in the real (not ideal) world, repository errors are possible. Once DansGuardian is bult correctly, you can then control whether or not to use ClamAV purely through the configuration options in dansguardian.conf; in other words once the build/configure options are correct, you will never need to revisit them no matter what you do with anti-virus.

In dansguardian.conf, use the ‘clamdscan’ option rather than the ‘clamav’ option. The ‘clamdscan’ option interfaces to ClamAV through the interprocess named pipe socket provided by the clam daemon. (The old ‘clamav’ option tries to interface to ClamAV through a version dependent library [a *nix “shared object” (.so) is analogous to a Windows “dynamic link library” (.dll)]which is probably no longer supported nor even available.)

Thanks for a great fathers day!!

Just a very quick post to say thanks to my wonderful wife to be and my two smashing lads for a great Fathers Day. To Jake and Jenson I would like to say thanks for the prezzies, I loved them. To Tania I would like to say…..10 weeks to go babes xxxxx

Onwards and Upwards….and Tory idiots!!

Well here I am, I have just had the best birthday that I can remember. I am now 36 going on 16 and the (very) proud father of two wonderful lads. I have the best companion, wife, lover that I could ever ask for….infact (and strictly between you and me) I don’t think I deserve her. But then all us addicts think like that….don’t we?

Life for myself and Tania has never been easy. Don’t get me wrong we have had our good times, and the memories that we have picked up along the way have been incredible and there will be a million more to look forward to. Both myself and Tania have been talking a lot recently about relapse (or the fear of it) we don’t shy away from talking about such subjects, relapse or lapse is not a dirty word in this household. In fact I would go as far as to say that we even have some basic contingency plans in place should the worse happen.

I can still remember the last time that I lapsed, it was just after I had discovered that Tania was pregnant with Jenson. I have had plenty of time to analyse and forensically examine why I took a nosedive into a bottle. It all boiled down to self-doubt with me. This inherent self-doubt (at the time) was being lovingly nurtured by my own mother and as with all things, if you are told that you won’t be able to do something so many times, you begin to believe it yourself.

Well for the doubters out there (and I include myself in that group)….you where wrong!! I think I am a pretty good father and a good husband. I work hard and I love sober life, not that I am trying to justify myself…I really don’t feel the need to justify myself to anyone….apart from myself and wife and children anyway.

I went fishing with a good mate the other day, we decided to jump in his car and head over to Hellesdon Mill for a couple of hours. When I say mate I should really say Dad, I see Mick as a Father figure in my life. I actually call him Dad as a mark of respect (maybe it’s a South London thing!!). We had decided to have a short break and a natter over a shard cup of Mick’s finest black coffee. I could see a man approaching with what looked like a spaniel dog. I quickly glanced around to make sure there was no line or bait lying around should the dog pay our gear any more than a glancing interest. I smiled at the man as he approached “Cold isn’t it” He said “You two would be better off in the warm looking for jobs I think” one glance at Mick and I could literally see his face turn red with rage from his chin to his forehead, he was glowing like a red stop light on a wet night “I have a perfectly good job THANK YOU” I retorted through gritted teeth.

It wasn’t what he said that hurt me, it was the fact that he felt the need to say it. He knows nothing about my personal situation and yet he decides to judge me. Granted it was Thursday afternoon and not a weekend but some of us do take time out from work you know. It was the fact that he saw two guys next to a river on a Thursday afternoon, they must be up to no good? better tell them to get a job….what a prat. I know that I should not use stereo types, but seeing how he stereo typed myself and my dad I am going to…this guy had a mustache and a Barbour jacket along with a spaniel, he’s idea of sport was probably taking a shotgun out and killing half the countryside….he really dressed the part everything about him described what is wrong with this country right here right now….he looked like and behaved like a bigoted, nasty, tory fuck up who for some reason had decided to appoint himself “critic of society”.

Anyway bringing the stereotyping to and end, neither myself or dad let this spoil a nice bit of time spent together. We exchanged views on which of his orifices’ we would stuff his spaniel into while laughing on our way back to the car!!

Be safe, be cool…..and goodnight Britain….wherever you are…….

Wensum Pike?

Well it has been a while since I last posted, I guess this is more a call for feedback than a post. Over the summer months I managed to catch a few pike on the free parts of the Wensum. I did a bit of research on the internet and found a nice picture of a double taken just over the road from me last winter.

The part of the Wensum that I am talking about is the non tidal “free” part that runs from above New Mills through Wensum Park and then the Meadow and winds its way past the Water Works and on up to Hellesdon Mill.

I have spoken to Anglers that have been fishing here for a lot longer than me and they have all reported that sport has taken a rapid downturn. I know that the tidal sections at Riverside and behind Carrow Road throw up some monsters, and from what I hear it has been reasonably consistent this season.

The question that I am interested in is “what is causing the downturn of sport on the non tidal sections? Is it Otter predation…I have seen them with my own eye’s so I know that they are there, or is it our Eastern European friends taking fish illegally as they are not accustomed to our “sport fishing” ways.

Or could the reason be that the pike have wised up to Lures and Deadbaits or even the presence of wiretraces?

I would be really interested in hearing what you think. Feel free to comment!!

Wensum Jack

Wensum Jack... Big or Small... I love em!!

Just to prove a point here is a nice little Pike that I caught at The Meadow this summer while I was after Perch on the lure…what happened to it after I released it?

Should I stay or should I go…

Sometimes in recovery and life in general we are all faced with choices. I too am not immune to these choices. No matter how well we think we plan things, they never turn out as we would imagine. I have been working for one organisation for a while now and I have grown to really like my work colleagues. I have an interview pending with this organisation that could see my job role change and a new contract for another 6 months if the interview goes well and they want me.

I have been for an interview with another organisation and have been offered a job. The organisation is much smaller than the one that I am working for at the moment and naturally I don’t know the people I will be working with.

I think deep down I have been wanting to extend my time in my current situation because I have grown accustomed to the people I work with and the practices and work flow within the organisation, even though I do not enjoy my work there.

I guess in this respect my thinking is no different to my past Alcoholic thinking. I don’t like it but I will keep doing it anyway because I know where I am with it. This type of thinking is destructive and not helpful and in my humble opinion comes as a result of being afraid of change. I would like to thank my better half Tania for pointing this out to me in a round about way.

I have come to the conclusion that the new job that I have been offered will be good for me on a number of levels. Firstly it will get me to challenge my “Fear of Change” and secondly I am actually looking forward to working there!!  

Should I stay?…..Nope….. I’m outta here!!