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Falling down…

It’s an overcast and sweaty afternoon here in Norwich. It has been a difficult day after a great weekend. Myself, Tania and Jake spent most of the weekend with the the good people of our home town, partying at the Lord Mayors Show. Live Music, and a great funfair where just two of the attractions on offer.

Today has been difficult because I just have not been able to get my head together. I only had one course to attend today, and I wasn’t really there if you know what I mean. Tania had an appointment this afternoon that I should have been to with her, I made it onto the bus and then realised that I had left my bus pass at home. So Tania went on her own.

I thought I had managed to get the better of my anger, but today it got the better of me. I felt the rage building up inside me and just had to lash out. I stormed back from the bus stop and smacked the wall several times in real hatred filled rage (not to mention kicking the living daylights out of a tree up the road). I hate myself when I am like this, it reminds me of my father, and how much I despised his short temper when I was younger.

I now think that my anger is deeper set than I thought, as I sat analysing this latest temper tantrum I realised a number of things. I was angry because I had let Tania down, but I was really angry with myself. I have not really been happy with myself for a while and I think its about time I started to sort things out. I have Tania, Jake and our baby to think about…Its time to stop being selfish and get happy with myself, they are depending on me.


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