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Something is missing!!… (don’t panic…it’s not Jenson)

Oh well, the feud with my family is still continuing and to top this of I have come down with a cold and a bad attack of hay fever. I think it’s fair to say that I have been feeling a bit low over the past few days. I am sure that if you have ever recovered from any form of addiction, that you know how hard it is to avoid the temptation of a drink, drug, gamble, smoke – delete or add to as applicable -. I have often heard people talk to me about relapsing without realising. This must sound strange to the uninitiated, but I can understand it.

I was standing at the back door earlier and I realised that one of those moments was upon me. Tania had left to take Jake and Alex back to the city to catch a bus back to Bungay. Here I was on my own with little Jenson, I seemed to have this unfulfilled feeling…a bit like “I know whats wrong…but I just can’t stop it”. It suddenly struck me that what I really wanted was a drink…it was an almost overwhelming urge to “get off the train” or should that be off my trolley/face!!

At first I felt a little foolish for not having realised earlier what I was feeling – the feeling of not being quite right in my own skin etc. Then I felt a quick burst of guilt – or was it shame – for having “drinking” thoughts. After my head had quite finished over analysing the situation I realised that I was:

A. Over Tired – Needed some proper sleep

B. Stressed – Because of my family situation

C. Hungry – Might help if I ate something

D. Physically Ill – Hay Fever / Summer Cold

If you add ABC and D together then you have enough to make a “normal” person want a drink never mind an alcoholic in recovery!!

So how can I deal with these, well C is easy, cup of sweet tea and raid the biscuit jar. A is not going to be easy as Jenson needs looking after and Tania needs a good dose of sleep herself this afternoon – Tania is feeling under the weather to – . I am tackling B by writing this blog post and D I can do bugger all about …so why worry!!

I can’t quite remember where I learned this process of breaking down an urge, but it must work because I am writing this blog post and not downing a can of super tenants at my own pity party…

Oh, one final “trick” for those new in recovery…the tea and biscuit thing – or anything sweet for that matter – really helps. Most alcoholic drinks contain so much sugar that I swear half the urge is for sugar alone…never mind the alcohol…give it a go!

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